TIME
Relationships don’t work without time investment. Never have, never will. Any successful relationship requires intentional, quality time together. And quality time rarely happens when quantity time is absent. The relationship with your spouse should be the most intimate and deep relationship you have. Therefore, it is going to require more time than any other relationship. If possible, set aside time each day for your spouse. And a date-night once in awhile wouldn’t hurt either.
It is good that married couples who treasure their relationship want to spend their leisure time together. However, they also need to have their own personal space and time for recreation, self-improvement or building relationships.
Married couples should not ignore the importance of self-improvement to enhance the quality of their life together. They should find time to learn new skills or improve their knowledge, either for professional or recreational reasons. For instance, they can take up courses on car repairing, language, cooking, marriage enrichment or parenting. When one does not strive to improve oneself, or relax or pursue an interest, life may become stagnant and boring.
Life without small achievements, surprises and laughter will breed discontentment and some people may seek to compensate for this by drinking, gambling, video watching or work - and marriage will be adversely affected.
TRUST
Trust in an intimate relationship is rooted in feeling safe with another person. Infidelity, lies, or broken promises can severely damage the trust between a husband and wife. That, however, does not necessarily mean that a marriage can't be salvaged. Although rebuilding trust can be challenging when there is a significant breach, it is, in fact, possible if both partners are committed to the process.
Building complete trust with each other is one of the best things we’ve done to build a strong foundation for our marriage.
As a result of building complete trust in our marriage, we’ve been able to talk about anything and be heard.
Also, the freedom to express yourself makes you feel secure. It also creates a peaceful home environment.
In other words, being able to trust your husband or wife provides you with comfort. It reduces stress, insecurity, and worries about your husband or wife not being transparent with you about everything.
Unfortunately, having no trust in your marriage means your marriage could end in a separation or divorce very quickly.
The lack of trust could also lead to an unhappy life with a roommate (your spouse).
COMMUNICATION
Good communication is the foundation of a strong marriage. Many marriages could be saved if spouses improved the ways they communicate with each other.It’s often the simplest bad habits that get couples into trouble. Once a marriage gets on a rough track, negativity grows. Problems escalate as both spouses repeat their mistakes again and again.
1. Mistake: Yelling at your spouse
When you feel angry, you probably start raising your voice. Anger creates tension. As tension builds, you look for a way to release or express it. Yelling at your spouse becomes a quick and easy option, although it often causes more trouble than relief.
It may feel good to unleash your tension on your spouse when they upset you, but the sense of satisfaction is often short-lived. Whatever you say in your angry state is likely to add fuel to the fire.
Yelling unleashes lots of strong, negative emotion. No matter what you are trying to communicate at that point, the emotion is going to take center stage. That’s what captures the listener’s attention most. Unfortunately, your spoken message will be diminished or even misunderstood, because you set up your partner to be defensive and frustrated rather than responsive and understanding.
It’s not that you can’t express some strong emotion when you speak – you’re not a robot, after all. But yelling goes well beyond the line. It sets the stage for an exchange of heated emotions rather than clearly communicated words. Even if your emotion is the message you need to share, a purely emotional exchange can easily transform into an exhausting, destructive habit. At some point, emotions need to be communicated in a way that allows you to move past them, not fuel them.